Eli Whitney - Salesman

Eli Whitneys occupy all kinds of trades. This Eli Whitney, of the Greater Philadelphia area, is a salesman; he is also a consummate  champion of the highest ethical standards, and an all-round stand up guy. Eli Whitney has been a master merchant since being graduated from Clarkson University back in 1979 with a degree in industrial distribution. That's 30 years of sales, wow! Currently our hero is working at Rockwell Automation; the NYSE sure thinks they ROK (oh snap!). So if you come across Eli Whitney, American tradesman extraordinaire, send a smile his way, for he fights hard to step from the shadow of his namesake. 

Eli Whitney and the Sound Machine

Another band named Eli Whitney, but this one is active, and awesome. They are a lo-fi ska/punk band from New York who have a mellow sound with kickass grooves. You can check out some of their tracks on their myspace page. This 8 piece band with smooth vocals is sure to be famous one day, so check 'em out now so you can tell all your friends you knew them before they were big. 

Eli Whitney Soulja Boy Spoof

Check out this song about Eli Whitney and the historical implications of the cotton gin set to the music of Soulja boy. Regardless of your views on the musical merits of Soulja boy, I'm sure you can agree that this is a creative and thought provoking work. 

Eli Whitney Poem

I'm taking a small detour from talking about people named Eli Whitney, to show you this great poem about Eli Whitney by Tim Clarke:

The looms

so spread-eagle splayed,

fine harp, the weaver of hymns

God is listening

the cotton gin is marching

and we follow



Feral engines,

artificial hearts of pure-bred fantasy

beat deep in the chest

where so thoroughly buried,

so gently molested,

enjoy a subtle bending

times are harder

so we follow...

Anyway, to see the rest of this poem, you will need to check out Tim's website, where you can find this any many other cool poems. 

Eli Whitney band

Check out the Eli Whitney band: 

This band from San Jose, California has some weird but cool tracks that you should check out(Myspace). It seems like they aren't touring anymore due to the tragic suicide of one of their members. Their disortion-laden tracks are reminiscent of the also short-live Chicago based legends Cap'n Jazz. Worth downloading Eli Whitney if you want something obscure to impress your hipster friends.

Dr. Edwin (Eli) Whitney

There seem to be a plethora of doctors who share the Eli Whitney namesake. What good fortune for lucky patients. This Dr. Eli Whitney is a cardiologist at N.E. Baptist hospital in San Antonio Texas. One happy patient described Eli Whitney as "A good cardiologist with compassion, and a sense of humor. Always has a joke for you. Besides knowing his medicine he is very good about recommending vitamins, minerals, and life style changes to help you get better. I have mediocre insurance now= with past employer it was good insurance, but he still spends time with me on my visits. Just do not waste his time with lots of chit chat - a little is OK. I like him a lot."

It seems Whitney is always happy to talk with patients, despite insurance problems, what a stand-up guy!. 

For more (universally positive reviews) check out his page on ratemds.com

Dr. Eli Whitney

Dr. Eli Whitney is an assistant professor  of dentistry as the University of British Columbia. Dr. Whitney hates cavities tremendously. He may have once been quoted as saying "I've never met a cavity I didn't like." Also, once when asked who his favorite imaginary character is, he responded "the tooth fairy." Clearly this man cares about dentistry. 

To contact this professor, please check out his directory page at the UBC website!